The Year that was 2010

Lets take a gander at the top ten highest grossing films of 2010 (correct as of December 15th 2010)

1. Toy Story 3                                                       with $1,063,143,492

2. Alice In Wonderland                                         with $1,024,299,722

3. Inception                                                            with $825,189,522

4. Specky Twat and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1  with $780,572,721

5. Shrek Forever After                                           with $737,433,086

6. The Twiglet Saga: Eclipse                                 with $693,303,852

7. Iron Man 2                                                         with $621,751,988

8. Despicable Me                                                   with $538,752,285

9. Clash Of The Titans                                          with $493,214,993

10. How To Train Your Dragon                           with $493,202,818

Obviously the year isn't over yet and there are two films contained within that list that may jump around a bit more. Specky Twat is not long out so I would not be surprised if he jumps up a place or two. Dispicable Me is also still in cinema's so could possibly take Iron Man 2 although this is doubtful. These things aside this list does not reflect this years best filmic qualities. What follows is my opinion of the films contained within the list.

Its of no secret now that I am in love with Toy Story 3 and without a doubt its my favorite film of 2010, it deserves the top spot on the list, I'm happy to see it there and seeing Specky Twat take that top spot would make me so angry that even God herself would have to board up the windows in fear of the shit storm that would follow.
Toy Story 3 gets

                                                                                                                                   4.999999999 out of 5

Inception is the only other film contained within that I would shout out props to. It was original, gripping and made me think quite a bit which is not something I've come to expect from a big summer blockbuster action movie. I do feel however that it wont have that much replay value.
Inception gets

                                                                                                                                                      3 out of 5

If i were a fair critic I would admit that I have not seen 'Dragon' or 'Despicable' and therefor they could also be good films, but I'm not and the fact I have not seen them makes them less than noteworthy. The rest of that list is a sham.

Alice In Wonderland, like almost everything Tim Buttons excretes was a huge steaming pile of shit.
In fact Alice in 3DCG land gets

                                                                                                                                     1 out of 5, I hated it.

Shrek Forever After should be forever forgotten as far as I'm concerned, along with the two prior sequels both of which were about as funny and Michael Winners Left shoe lace.

Shrek's Final Coffin Nail gets

                                                                                                                                                   1.5 out of 5

Iron Man 2 was a major let down for me, I enjoyed the first installment quite a bit but this was actually kinda dull and lifeless despite Mr Jr's best efforts.

Iron Man 2 gets

                                                                                                                                                   1.5 out of 5

Clash of the tits would have been much better if it were indeed a clash of some tits but what it was, was more like watching The Clash..... full stop.

Clash Of The Titans gets

                                                                                                                                                      1 out of 5

I wont bother commenting on Specky Twats or Twiglets. Their time will come soon enough. Now lets delve into the rest of the year.

My first enjoyable cinema experience this year was 'Kick-Ass'. Yet another comic book adaptation only this time based on a comic book that had yet to be released and funded independently rather than the usual big corporate funding these kind of films tend to see. The end result being that Matthew Vaughn got to make the film exactly the way he intended and that makes for the most refreshing and enjoyably dark comic book movies in years. The action is smart and silly at the same time and as an overall package 'Kick-Ass' really is something worth witnessing. 

Kick-Ass gets 

                                                                                                                                                   3.5 out of 5

The next film I took in was much more of a mixed bag. Great acting, fantastic imagery and a timeless adventure made for one of my years most boring and as a result confusing cinematic experiences. I am referring to Ridley Scrowe's latest collaboration in the action epic that was Robin Hood. A prime example that bringing together some of the worlds most talented and forward thinking bodies in Hollywood does not a good movie make. Its also incorrectly titled as the titular character does not show up until the final minute of the film. It should have been called "Ten more reasons to fall in love with Mark Strong".   

Robin Hood gets

                                                                                                                                                      2 out of 5

I then saw Four Lions. I refuse to grade it and refuse to review it. I do think everybody should see it though.

I followed up Four Lions with Cop Out. I am and have been for years a massive fan of all things Kevin Smith. The mans back catalogue is something I have seen through numerous times and with every viewing I get and enjoy more of what I find. I know he is far from the worlds best director, but I honestly don't care because Kevin's writing and character focused comedy always makes me feel good and makes me laugh. A lot. Cop Out however is not written by Smith, he is simply its director. And surprise, surprise it tanked. It wasn't funny, it wasn't enjoyable and failed on every level. Dare I say it Kevin Smith maybe partly to blame for this being such a mess, Cop Out is meant to be a send up of classic 80's buddy cop features (like the later and more successful 'The Other Guys'). It doesn't work as a send up because its not implemented or referenced correctly. In other words the film fails to put across its amazingly simple premise, and it does this mainly through its lack of cinematic direction. This is why Smith should only direct what he himself has written as he clearly doesn't have a clue when camped outside his comfort zone. 

Cop Out Gets

0.5 out of 5

   

I followed up my despair with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Toy Story 3 and Inception. Three completely different but all fantastic films. I then went to break my run of enjoyable films with the in-taking of The A-Team. Black becomes white, up becomes down, Timothy Spall becomes talented and The A-Team turns out to be a very enjoyable film. The action was ridiculous, the script was cumbersome and the story was almost non-existent, in other words everything this film should have been. I watched, I laughed, I missed a bit, I didn't care. The A-Team was a great watch and is without a doubt  the years best 'for shits and giggles' movie.

The A-Team gets

3 out of 5. Somehow.

After a while of being perplexed I took in Buried. As referenced before this is a fantastical film. The entire thing takes place in a box underground without leaving for even so much as a flashback. Ryan Reynolds is great in this film and adds yet more proof to the rule that comedic actors do the best work with dramatic roles. On paper Buried really shouldn't work but it does and it does so in spades. I know a few people who were disappointed by the films lack of action, to those people I say see my above recommendation of The A-Team but bare in mind that you may need to concentrate quite hard to understand it, maybe best to take your crayons in case its too much for you to handle.

Buried gets

4 out of 5

This soon led onto Jackass 3d and as it turns out the end of my cinema adventures for 2010. Jackass was great, see below.

For many of the past years my overall take on a year in film has been somewhat miffed due to the lack of enjoyable movies contained within it. Todays world of film has been overrun by remakes, sequels, increasingly obscure comic book adaptations and in some cases all of the above. This year has been no exception, however when I look back on the year that is soon to be, I look back and think I have enjoyed myself.

Here is my top 10 of 2010

1. Toy Story 3 (4.999999999 out of 5)

2. Jackass 3D (4.5 out of 5)

3. Buried (4 out of 5)

4. Kick-Ass (3.5 out of 5)

5. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (3 out of 5)

6. Four Lions

7. Inception (3 out of 5)

8. The A-Team (3 out of 5)

9. The Other Guys (2.5 out of 5)

10. The Expendables (2.5 out of 5)

See you next year folks.........................................

The Greatest Trilogy Of All Time At This Time

During the last few days I asked 10 people to name their favorite movie trilogy. Six people rather boringly said  Star Wars was the best, two others said Lord Of the Rings and the remaining two opted for Godfather and The Pirates of the Caribbean. All of which are the wrong answer.

For starters two of those are not trilogies. Star Wars (at the insistence of the worlds most evil beard) is not a trilogy, its a Hexalogy. And saying 'the original trilogy' doesn't fix this as 'parts 4-6' are clearly tagged onto each film title. The other non trilogy in the mix is Pirates, which next year will have a part four released which if part three was anything to go by will be about as entertaining as taking a nail in the eye.

I can't argue with Lord Of The Rings or Godfather as they are true Trilogies and this wont change. I do take issue with people stating them as the best though seeing as both have one bad or average film contained within.

Lord Of the Rings consists of 'The Fellowship Of The Ring', 'The Two Towers' and 'The Return Of The King'. While both 'Fellowship' and 'Return' are stella examples of great filmmaking 'Towers' is average at best. The story is slower paced, its high action moments are for the most part heavily steeped in cliche and stick out when it comes to the narrative, plus it practically ignores the trilogies main plot devise, the Ring itself. Instead the film focuses mostly on Aragnought, Orlando Board and Gimmi Gimmi Gimmi a midget after midnight and their epic battle against the foot clan. Despite this I do really like the trilogy and have on a couple of occasions sat down to watch it as one film, but even when doing this 'Towers' feels like the chore I have to sit through in order to get to 'Return'.

The Godfather trilogy I am not too keen on but I do understand its merits. The first two films are well acted, directed and written and if I were not the sort to be bored to tears by Gangster movies I'm sure I would enjoy them, Part three however is shit. The story seems rushed, the new actors in the film are abysmal and as a whole the film is flat out dull.

There are other noteworthy trilogies. Back To The Future parts 1 through 3 are all a joy to behold. Part 1 is a greatly timeless tale about traveling back in time and almost sleeping with your mother, fantastic. Part two (widely overlooked when it comes to fantastic sequels) is a complex, well written action packed, mind bending adventure that puts the first film it self in jeopardy. The latter part of the film takes place during the same scenes seen in the first part and seamlessly tell the story from a new and very quirky perspective, amazing cinema. Part 3 is fun enough but does lack integration into the previous installments and feels a smidge tagged on, a shocking state of events considering parts 2 & 3 were shot back to back. That aside the film is great fun and acts as a great send up to the westerns of old upon which the film clearly drew its inspiration. However its lack of connection does prevent it being a true contender for best trilogy.

The Matrix is a tricky subject, a prime example of how a potentially unbeatable franchise can quickly turn into a babbling brook of shit. The first film is a groundbreaking, gripping and thought provoking action epic with some of the most memorable action set pieces ever conceived. 'Reloaded' starts to loose it about 0.5 seconds after the beginning, then continues to ram its fancy slow motion digital detritus and philosophical nonsensicles down our throats like a twenty inch black cock. However if 'Reloaded' is a twenty inch black cock then 'revolutions' is without a doubt its salty, meaty spurt juice which i believe I can still taste to this very day. Major lack of narrative, seemingly random action that means absolutely nothing and yet more philosophy which fans of the first film couldn't have given ten tons of fuck about. The Animatrix was fucking cool though.

The Jason Bourne trilogy is in my top five for sure, amazing story, amazing fight sequences, amazing stunts and many a good twist in the tale but its has a major drawback. Matt Damon.

What else do we have? Obviously there is Jackass 1 to 3D which i love but I consider it a push to call it a movie trilogy on the basis that their not really movies. Legally Blonde... how the fuck did that become a three parter? Mad Max with Mad Mel being Mad Max, in one good movie. Austin Powers in Shit, shitter and shittiest. Any Disney trilogy doesn't count on account of me not counting direct to DVD/Video installments which wipes out most of their attempts.

There are many many trilogies out there, but for me there can only be one winner in all this and quite why I have not heard more people speaking the same is completely lost on me. The greatest trilogy of all time at this time has to be.......

Toy Story 1, 2 and 3.

I mean think about it, is there a bad movie in the mix? Is there a weak link? Will the story and themes ever loose their relevance over time? The answer to these questions are a simple no. Toy Story was a ground braking and thoroughly enjoyable masterpiece that mixed child like imagination, dark and sometimes scary themes and makes one of the truest and most heart warming statements about what friendship is all about that I have ever seen depicted.

Toy Story 2 deals with greed, corruption, loyalty and abandonment which is pretty heavy stuff for a 'kids' movie but are all handled very well and do not get in the way of the fun. This is the film everybody thought would be a disaster, but not only does it match its predecessor it actually strengthens it. Too many sequels simply try to better the previous, Toy Story 2 doesn't do this and its all the better for it, not to mention the many references to other films hidden within are a joy for the more clued in audience members.

Then this year saw the mighty Toy Story 3 burst into view as if from nowhere. It took a long time coming and there was a time where this film seemed to be lost forever. But it did get made and what a fucking awesome flick it is too. Pixar are proving to be one of if not the best set of film makers in the world with their latest three. Wall-e, Up and Toy Story 3 are mind numbingly decent films. Each much more adult than your average family film yet still being able to entertain the kids. I was is no doubt that Toy Story 3 would be good, in fact my expectation was so high going in I became slightly concerned that it wouldn't be able to live up, boy was I wrong. During its opening ten minutes I went from laughing my ass off to welling up with tears of genuine emotion, something the film did continuously as it went on. On the surface its a prison movie, under that its a story about growing up and underneath that its a heart breaking message about letting go and accepting that sometimes, giving up what seems like the most important thing in the world is the right and only thing to do. By the end of this film I was in full on man tears and had to sit in the cinema until the end credits finished rolling in order to compose myself to face the outside world again, that harsh daylight never seemed brighter.

I dunno maybe I am a sucker for a cheap trick, maybe my life experiences have made Toy Story 3 more poignant than it really is, or maybe, just maybe Toy Story 3 is the perfect end to a near perfect trilogy.

The Toy Story Trilogy gets....

                                                                                                                                                      5 out of 5