The Year that was 2010

Lets take a gander at the top ten highest grossing films of 2010 (correct as of December 15th 2010)

1. Toy Story 3                                                       with $1,063,143,492

2. Alice In Wonderland                                         with $1,024,299,722

3. Inception                                                            with $825,189,522

4. Specky Twat and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1  with $780,572,721

5. Shrek Forever After                                           with $737,433,086

6. The Twiglet Saga: Eclipse                                 with $693,303,852

7. Iron Man 2                                                         with $621,751,988

8. Despicable Me                                                   with $538,752,285

9. Clash Of The Titans                                          with $493,214,993

10. How To Train Your Dragon                           with $493,202,818

Obviously the year isn't over yet and there are two films contained within that list that may jump around a bit more. Specky Twat is not long out so I would not be surprised if he jumps up a place or two. Dispicable Me is also still in cinema's so could possibly take Iron Man 2 although this is doubtful. These things aside this list does not reflect this years best filmic qualities. What follows is my opinion of the films contained within the list.

Its of no secret now that I am in love with Toy Story 3 and without a doubt its my favorite film of 2010, it deserves the top spot on the list, I'm happy to see it there and seeing Specky Twat take that top spot would make me so angry that even God herself would have to board up the windows in fear of the shit storm that would follow.
Toy Story 3 gets

                                                                                                                                   4.999999999 out of 5

Inception is the only other film contained within that I would shout out props to. It was original, gripping and made me think quite a bit which is not something I've come to expect from a big summer blockbuster action movie. I do feel however that it wont have that much replay value.
Inception gets

                                                                                                                                                      3 out of 5

If i were a fair critic I would admit that I have not seen 'Dragon' or 'Despicable' and therefor they could also be good films, but I'm not and the fact I have not seen them makes them less than noteworthy. The rest of that list is a sham.

Alice In Wonderland, like almost everything Tim Buttons excretes was a huge steaming pile of shit.
In fact Alice in 3DCG land gets

                                                                                                                                     1 out of 5, I hated it.

Shrek Forever After should be forever forgotten as far as I'm concerned, along with the two prior sequels both of which were about as funny and Michael Winners Left shoe lace.

Shrek's Final Coffin Nail gets

                                                                                                                                                   1.5 out of 5

Iron Man 2 was a major let down for me, I enjoyed the first installment quite a bit but this was actually kinda dull and lifeless despite Mr Jr's best efforts.

Iron Man 2 gets

                                                                                                                                                   1.5 out of 5

Clash of the tits would have been much better if it were indeed a clash of some tits but what it was, was more like watching The Clash..... full stop.

Clash Of The Titans gets

                                                                                                                                                      1 out of 5

I wont bother commenting on Specky Twats or Twiglets. Their time will come soon enough. Now lets delve into the rest of the year.

My first enjoyable cinema experience this year was 'Kick-Ass'. Yet another comic book adaptation only this time based on a comic book that had yet to be released and funded independently rather than the usual big corporate funding these kind of films tend to see. The end result being that Matthew Vaughn got to make the film exactly the way he intended and that makes for the most refreshing and enjoyably dark comic book movies in years. The action is smart and silly at the same time and as an overall package 'Kick-Ass' really is something worth witnessing. 

Kick-Ass gets 

                                                                                                                                                   3.5 out of 5

The next film I took in was much more of a mixed bag. Great acting, fantastic imagery and a timeless adventure made for one of my years most boring and as a result confusing cinematic experiences. I am referring to Ridley Scrowe's latest collaboration in the action epic that was Robin Hood. A prime example that bringing together some of the worlds most talented and forward thinking bodies in Hollywood does not a good movie make. Its also incorrectly titled as the titular character does not show up until the final minute of the film. It should have been called "Ten more reasons to fall in love with Mark Strong".   

Robin Hood gets

                                                                                                                                                      2 out of 5

I then saw Four Lions. I refuse to grade it and refuse to review it. I do think everybody should see it though.

I followed up Four Lions with Cop Out. I am and have been for years a massive fan of all things Kevin Smith. The mans back catalogue is something I have seen through numerous times and with every viewing I get and enjoy more of what I find. I know he is far from the worlds best director, but I honestly don't care because Kevin's writing and character focused comedy always makes me feel good and makes me laugh. A lot. Cop Out however is not written by Smith, he is simply its director. And surprise, surprise it tanked. It wasn't funny, it wasn't enjoyable and failed on every level. Dare I say it Kevin Smith maybe partly to blame for this being such a mess, Cop Out is meant to be a send up of classic 80's buddy cop features (like the later and more successful 'The Other Guys'). It doesn't work as a send up because its not implemented or referenced correctly. In other words the film fails to put across its amazingly simple premise, and it does this mainly through its lack of cinematic direction. This is why Smith should only direct what he himself has written as he clearly doesn't have a clue when camped outside his comfort zone. 

Cop Out Gets

0.5 out of 5

   

I followed up my despair with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Toy Story 3 and Inception. Three completely different but all fantastic films. I then went to break my run of enjoyable films with the in-taking of The A-Team. Black becomes white, up becomes down, Timothy Spall becomes talented and The A-Team turns out to be a very enjoyable film. The action was ridiculous, the script was cumbersome and the story was almost non-existent, in other words everything this film should have been. I watched, I laughed, I missed a bit, I didn't care. The A-Team was a great watch and is without a doubt  the years best 'for shits and giggles' movie.

The A-Team gets

3 out of 5. Somehow.

After a while of being perplexed I took in Buried. As referenced before this is a fantastical film. The entire thing takes place in a box underground without leaving for even so much as a flashback. Ryan Reynolds is great in this film and adds yet more proof to the rule that comedic actors do the best work with dramatic roles. On paper Buried really shouldn't work but it does and it does so in spades. I know a few people who were disappointed by the films lack of action, to those people I say see my above recommendation of The A-Team but bare in mind that you may need to concentrate quite hard to understand it, maybe best to take your crayons in case its too much for you to handle.

Buried gets

4 out of 5

This soon led onto Jackass 3d and as it turns out the end of my cinema adventures for 2010. Jackass was great, see below.

For many of the past years my overall take on a year in film has been somewhat miffed due to the lack of enjoyable movies contained within it. Todays world of film has been overrun by remakes, sequels, increasingly obscure comic book adaptations and in some cases all of the above. This year has been no exception, however when I look back on the year that is soon to be, I look back and think I have enjoyed myself.

Here is my top 10 of 2010

1. Toy Story 3 (4.999999999 out of 5)

2. Jackass 3D (4.5 out of 5)

3. Buried (4 out of 5)

4. Kick-Ass (3.5 out of 5)

5. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (3 out of 5)

6. Four Lions

7. Inception (3 out of 5)

8. The A-Team (3 out of 5)

9. The Other Guys (2.5 out of 5)

10. The Expendables (2.5 out of 5)

See you next year folks.........................................

The Greatest Trilogy Of All Time At This Time

During the last few days I asked 10 people to name their favorite movie trilogy. Six people rather boringly said  Star Wars was the best, two others said Lord Of the Rings and the remaining two opted for Godfather and The Pirates of the Caribbean. All of which are the wrong answer.

For starters two of those are not trilogies. Star Wars (at the insistence of the worlds most evil beard) is not a trilogy, its a Hexalogy. And saying 'the original trilogy' doesn't fix this as 'parts 4-6' are clearly tagged onto each film title. The other non trilogy in the mix is Pirates, which next year will have a part four released which if part three was anything to go by will be about as entertaining as taking a nail in the eye.

I can't argue with Lord Of The Rings or Godfather as they are true Trilogies and this wont change. I do take issue with people stating them as the best though seeing as both have one bad or average film contained within.

Lord Of the Rings consists of 'The Fellowship Of The Ring', 'The Two Towers' and 'The Return Of The King'. While both 'Fellowship' and 'Return' are stella examples of great filmmaking 'Towers' is average at best. The story is slower paced, its high action moments are for the most part heavily steeped in cliche and stick out when it comes to the narrative, plus it practically ignores the trilogies main plot devise, the Ring itself. Instead the film focuses mostly on Aragnought, Orlando Board and Gimmi Gimmi Gimmi a midget after midnight and their epic battle against the foot clan. Despite this I do really like the trilogy and have on a couple of occasions sat down to watch it as one film, but even when doing this 'Towers' feels like the chore I have to sit through in order to get to 'Return'.

The Godfather trilogy I am not too keen on but I do understand its merits. The first two films are well acted, directed and written and if I were not the sort to be bored to tears by Gangster movies I'm sure I would enjoy them, Part three however is shit. The story seems rushed, the new actors in the film are abysmal and as a whole the film is flat out dull.

There are other noteworthy trilogies. Back To The Future parts 1 through 3 are all a joy to behold. Part 1 is a greatly timeless tale about traveling back in time and almost sleeping with your mother, fantastic. Part two (widely overlooked when it comes to fantastic sequels) is a complex, well written action packed, mind bending adventure that puts the first film it self in jeopardy. The latter part of the film takes place during the same scenes seen in the first part and seamlessly tell the story from a new and very quirky perspective, amazing cinema. Part 3 is fun enough but does lack integration into the previous installments and feels a smidge tagged on, a shocking state of events considering parts 2 & 3 were shot back to back. That aside the film is great fun and acts as a great send up to the westerns of old upon which the film clearly drew its inspiration. However its lack of connection does prevent it being a true contender for best trilogy.

The Matrix is a tricky subject, a prime example of how a potentially unbeatable franchise can quickly turn into a babbling brook of shit. The first film is a groundbreaking, gripping and thought provoking action epic with some of the most memorable action set pieces ever conceived. 'Reloaded' starts to loose it about 0.5 seconds after the beginning, then continues to ram its fancy slow motion digital detritus and philosophical nonsensicles down our throats like a twenty inch black cock. However if 'Reloaded' is a twenty inch black cock then 'revolutions' is without a doubt its salty, meaty spurt juice which i believe I can still taste to this very day. Major lack of narrative, seemingly random action that means absolutely nothing and yet more philosophy which fans of the first film couldn't have given ten tons of fuck about. The Animatrix was fucking cool though.

The Jason Bourne trilogy is in my top five for sure, amazing story, amazing fight sequences, amazing stunts and many a good twist in the tale but its has a major drawback. Matt Damon.

What else do we have? Obviously there is Jackass 1 to 3D which i love but I consider it a push to call it a movie trilogy on the basis that their not really movies. Legally Blonde... how the fuck did that become a three parter? Mad Max with Mad Mel being Mad Max, in one good movie. Austin Powers in Shit, shitter and shittiest. Any Disney trilogy doesn't count on account of me not counting direct to DVD/Video installments which wipes out most of their attempts.

There are many many trilogies out there, but for me there can only be one winner in all this and quite why I have not heard more people speaking the same is completely lost on me. The greatest trilogy of all time at this time has to be.......

Toy Story 1, 2 and 3.

I mean think about it, is there a bad movie in the mix? Is there a weak link? Will the story and themes ever loose their relevance over time? The answer to these questions are a simple no. Toy Story was a ground braking and thoroughly enjoyable masterpiece that mixed child like imagination, dark and sometimes scary themes and makes one of the truest and most heart warming statements about what friendship is all about that I have ever seen depicted.

Toy Story 2 deals with greed, corruption, loyalty and abandonment which is pretty heavy stuff for a 'kids' movie but are all handled very well and do not get in the way of the fun. This is the film everybody thought would be a disaster, but not only does it match its predecessor it actually strengthens it. Too many sequels simply try to better the previous, Toy Story 2 doesn't do this and its all the better for it, not to mention the many references to other films hidden within are a joy for the more clued in audience members.

Then this year saw the mighty Toy Story 3 burst into view as if from nowhere. It took a long time coming and there was a time where this film seemed to be lost forever. But it did get made and what a fucking awesome flick it is too. Pixar are proving to be one of if not the best set of film makers in the world with their latest three. Wall-e, Up and Toy Story 3 are mind numbingly decent films. Each much more adult than your average family film yet still being able to entertain the kids. I was is no doubt that Toy Story 3 would be good, in fact my expectation was so high going in I became slightly concerned that it wouldn't be able to live up, boy was I wrong. During its opening ten minutes I went from laughing my ass off to welling up with tears of genuine emotion, something the film did continuously as it went on. On the surface its a prison movie, under that its a story about growing up and underneath that its a heart breaking message about letting go and accepting that sometimes, giving up what seems like the most important thing in the world is the right and only thing to do. By the end of this film I was in full on man tears and had to sit in the cinema until the end credits finished rolling in order to compose myself to face the outside world again, that harsh daylight never seemed brighter.

I dunno maybe I am a sucker for a cheap trick, maybe my life experiences have made Toy Story 3 more poignant than it really is, or maybe, just maybe Toy Story 3 is the perfect end to a near perfect trilogy.

The Toy Story Trilogy gets....

                                                                                                                                                      5 out of 5

Jackass 3D

***WARNING***

THE FOLLOWING REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS AND CONTRADICTIONS THEREFOR MAYBE UNSUITABLE FOR SOME FUCKS. IT ALSO CONTAINS TALK ABOUT COCK THAT MAY MAKE YOUNG LADIES BLUSH AND CATHOLIC PRIESTS ROCK HARD

***YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED***

Firstly let me apologize for my lack of reviews, its been almost two months since my last post which is distinctly unfortunate for my many hordes of worshiping fans. The simple reason for my lack in putting finger to keyboard is directly due to the quality of cinematic treats bestowed upon me during the later part of this year. The quality actually being almost non existent to the point where I find myself wondering if paying a tenner to sit in a big room looking at a blank cinema screen, with no projected image while munching on a large bag of cool original doritos would be my preferred option over doing the exact same with the addition of getting someone to stick one of this seasons films on for me to ogle. I did in fact see 'Buried' which I considered to be amazing and as it turns out in my top five of this years films. I neglected to write a review of it however because doing so and being funny while showering praise with out saying he dies at the end turned out to be way to difficult so in short...

Buried gets...

                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                      4 out of 5

You'll never see the ending coming!

So to make a long story even longer my lack of good things to write about ended when I visited Swansea in Wales where I discovered two things. 

1. Sunshine. As far as I'm aware the most sunshine ever recorded in the city since records began and

2.Jackass 3D

I have been a fan of Jackass since it first began ten totally shit years ago. It came at a time when I was reaching the mid point of puberty and all things non vagina related seemed like a waste of time. Yet there it was, Jackass, nothing but a bunch of grown men hurting themselves for my amusement without even the slightest promise of a breast or two (unless you count Prestons). The Tv show as it was finished after three short seasons leading almost directly into 'Jackass The Movie' which to this day marks as one of my all time favorite cinematic experiences. Followed a few years later was the brilliantly titled 'Jackass Number Two' which I to this day I kick myself for not seeing on a big screen as it is truly fantastic. And now ten years on from the start of the Tv show comes 'Jackass 3D'.

Firstly I will go on record as saying that 'Jackass 3D' makes the best use of the 3D format thus far. Be it by swinging a ball past your face into Steve-os jingle berries, shooting a veiny rubber penis into your eye or by showering you in confetti the 3D thing works perfectly with the world of Jackass. I found that the 3D aspect pulled me in much more than it did in something like Avatarded or Toy Story 3 and thats simply because Jackass is real life and therefore looks at its best in the 3rd dimension. Did you hear that Cameron? Now suck the juice from my meaty, sweaty ball sack. 

As for the stunts, those of you hoping to see the guys up the game danger wise will be disappointed. The stunts in many senses are a step back from 'Number Two'. However I do not see this as a step in the wrong direction as the stunts are more focused on the humour of the event rather than the potential for pain. Also incorporated are some of the original TV skits amped up to maximum to give Jackass a true send off and example being the 'Poo cocktail supreme' which while not being the movies funniest moment really does take you right back to where it all began.

A final note worthy point to make about 'Jackass 3D' is its soundtrack. Its been over a week since I saw the film now and I am still singing Twisted Sister everywhere I go, the reason for this is that the songs contained in the film match the footage so well that it makes most tracks totally unforgettable. Plus a keen ear will notice that the opening sequence features an opera version of Corona by the Minutemen, simple genius!

There are many nuggets of comedy gold to be found in Jackass 3D (some of which literally fly out of Dave Englands Arse) which will have you chuckling to yourself for hours after seeing them. I'd say see this while its still in cinema's, in 3D, it will be awesome on DVD/Blu but the experience of a gigantic 3 dimensional penis is something to behold, and something which no human should have to live without. For my money, its equal to the other two installments in terms of enjoyment and despite the gangs insistence on including the usual 'old Knoxville' segments which bore me the movie barely lets a minute go by without a true belly laugh, now thats rare.

Jackass 3D gets...

                                                                           

                                                                                                                   4.5 out of 5

The Other Guys

***WARNING***

THE FOLLOWING REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS THEREFOR MAYBE UNSUITABLE FOR SOME FUCKS. IT ALSO CONTAINS MEAT, DAIRY, NUTS AND SHATTERED DREAMS

***YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED***

'The Other Guys' could have gone either way for me. My track record with Ferrell and McKay has been somewhat mixed. I enjoyed Anchorman despite its flaws, of which it had many most of which saved by Steve Carell. I Tried to enjoy Talladega Nights but it lingered on to many unfunny jokes and was obscured by John C.Reilly's totally unlikable and unenjoyable presence. So it came as no shock when I really couldn't get on with Step Brothers which I found funny for all of five minutes then became so angry that I wanted to stab a HIV positive hobo, hunt down Reilly, anally violate him with the infected blade and force him to work at any Harvester for a decade before ripping out his spine and proceeding to batter the projected image of himself on the screen until the return of christ. 

'The Other Guys' however does not feature John C.Reilly and instead swaps out the part he would have played with the ever watchable and always fantastic (even in his shit movies, of which there are many) Mark Wahlberg. Simply fantastic casting as Marky Mark who even amongst the surrealism and over the top comedy action manages to bring a strong level of believability to the proceedings. Even Ferrell manages to tone it down for the most part be it by actually managing subtlety and on the odd occasion playing the straight man. Other notable cast members are Samuel L Jackson and Dwayne (I'm not The Rock anymore) Johnson who are simply hilarious as a pair of all action American cop heroes. 

Its nice to see that McKay is trying to branch out a little more with his directing style. 'Step Brothers' was just a string of ad-libs with no story and even less focus than an anti ford focus convention being filmed in Low-def by a cameraman teamed with absolutely no focus pullers racking focus for him. 'The Other Guys' on the other hand is surprisingly plot driven at times which is fantastic but fails to pull you in because there is a crucial part of the plot missing, the plot part of the plot to be precise. But in all honesty it doesn't matter all that much because its masked by a never ending stream of pop culture references, running gags (The best of which being a character who can't seem to stop quoting TLC songs) and deliberately over the top melodramatic moments coupled with sleazy cop music akin to the buddy cop films of the early 80's upon which this film is clearly based.

My biggest gripe with 'The Other Guys' is its rating, it should never have been released as a PG-13 movie. Now thats not to say that I think the film as is deserves an R rating, it doesn't. But the film should have been aloud to be released as an R rated movie simply because it clearly wants to be one and I feel may have been shot as if it was one. It happens too much these days with good films being released PG-13 when they clearly would have benefited from an R. The audience for this movie is the same as McKays previous who are not a young audience. Its so daring to release an R rated movie these days and that sickens me. Some of the best franchises have been revamped with a watered down PG-13 release, Die Hard 4, Terminator 3/Salivation and Rocky Bla Bla Bla to name a few. For the studio to take this film and insist it be a PG-13 is like putting your life savings on a bet for a marathon runner to win the hundred meters then shooting him in the foot five seconds before the starting pistol. 

To sum all this up is very difficult, I do like this film but it has a lot of problems. Its like having a best friend who would take a bullet for you, make you tea in the mornings and gladly take you in should you find yourself homeless but he smells like dried piss, wears Umbro and is a bonk-eyed ginger drug dealer from Scotland. My parting words I guess are to see it but don't expect too much. If you go in with low expectations you'll be pleasantly surprised. It truly is one of this years funniest films. 

The Other Guys gets...

                                                                                                                                     2.5 out of 5

Avatar

I know this isn't a very "current" movie to review but quite frankly it pissed me off so much that it needs re-addressing. In the year that was 2009, good movies were a little hard to find. Here is a list of that years top grossing movies...

1.Avatar with $2,760,751,139

2.Specky Twat and the Half Blood Prince with $933,959,197

3.Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs with $886,686,280

4.Transformers: Revenge of Micheal Bay with $836,297,228

5.2012 with $769,679,128

6.Up with $731,342,724

7.The Twiglet Saga: The New Arse with $709,826,790

8.Sherlock Holmes with $523,028,679

9.Angels and Dribbles with $485,930,816

10.The Hangover with $467,483,912

That's a list so depressing that it would make Ockar Schindler put a shotgun in his own mouth. Of all of those films I saw eight in the cinema and I enjoyed three of them (for the curious amongst you I liked The Hangover, I loved Up, and kinda enjoyed Sherlock Holmes despite it being kinda shit). But as much as I detest Twiglets and Speky Twats I understand that there is a rather stupid gabble of dribbling crack babies that serve as an audience for them. Avatar on the other hand has absolutely no right to be considered a 'good film'.

Now before I get knee deep into the Na'vi shit pile, I do wish to say that Avatar looked good in 3D, but I was still more impressed with Step Up 3D's trailer and its integration of the format than I was by Avatars. As for the rest of the film its shockingly flimsy. 

The plot is good and has huge potential, in fact I loved it first time round in 1990's Dances With Wolves which handled it very well and left a relevant mark in cinema history. What Cameron has done here is simply copy and paste that film and stuck it into a future setting which quite frankly makes no sense. Added into the stew pot is the Na'vi, a race spawned by cross breeding a Smurf with Panthro from Thundercats and given a name stolen from a fairy found in The Ledgend of Zelda. Now I can understand why Cameron would think he's being original here, basically since creating the Terminator franchise he started living a penthouse located deep within his colon where he has been sheltered from the outside world like some kind of Big Brother housemate. The characterization is terrible too, nobody in it with the exception of the always captivating Sigourney Weaver has any depth. This became obvious to me when watching the epic battles and realizing that I really couldn't give a fuck if anyone died. Credit to Cameron though, he did notice this, so in an effort to force the audience into feeling something for his main character he stuck him in a wheelchair and played the sympathy card, classy move!

Despite all of this the audience lapped it up and actually mistook its visuals for a good film which it is not. Take away the 3D and what you have is a collage of other peoples good ideas and nothing more, it wont stand the test of time. Look at Titanic, the world went ape shit over that and ask most people today the only thing they remember is Kate Winslet getting her golden globes out for the umpteenth time but this time getting away with it in a family movie.

To sum up then, Avatar is not my favorite film ever to say the least. It annoys me that people are so obsessed with this film, I even heard a guy say about how he wanted to live on Pandora. Now I don't know about you but this this guy is saying he wants to live on a moon where you insert parts of your body into animals in order to couple up with them...that says bestiality to me.

I dunno, everybody has seen this film already so I can hardly advise you not too, and those of you who have yet to see it will no matter what at some point. All I ask is that it be treated for what it is, a very expensive rip off and a display of James Cameron's evil genius. One day he will kill us all, mark my words.

Avatar gets...

                                                                                               1 out of 5

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World

When I sat down to watch this movie I was pretty clear on what to expect. Loud noises, big action, intentionally cheesy dialogue and the odd bit of writing flashing up on the screen Batman style. I got all of this and more from Scott Pilgrim.

The movie opens with a rather slow paced introduction to Scott Pilgrim and friends. Well i say its slow paced, it makes 'Fear and Loathing' look like your granny on weed trying to dodge a steam roller climbing Everest driven by a dead Bison. By slow paced I am referring to the pace of the story when compared to the fast cutting hard edge editing style that could only be achieved by an editor and director both suffering a serious case of Attention Deficit Disorder. Still this slightly lengthy introduction is pretty much warranted in order to set up the actual story which kicks off around fifteen minutes in, when the picture sets off like a marathon runner in the hundred meter sprint leaving the audience scrambling to keep up as if they were an asthmatic obese wheelchair user with bread rolls for arms.

Yes its true, Scott Pilgrim moves pretty damn quickly. One second your watching a typical romantic scene then suddenly its a battle of epic proportions as an evil 'ex' bursts through the rooftop without so much as a "hey look over there!". This sounds horrifically annoying but trust me it kinda works, the story never gets bogged down by the typical character development scenes and instead glances briefly at them giving you the gist and moves on to the next big set piece safe in the knowledge that you can fill in the rest for yourself, which you can, if you cant then go watch Piranha 3D which will be more at your level.

The films visual style is very striking also. OK so this is a comic book movie in case you didn't know and its approach is to quite literally copy and paste typical comic book frames and insert them into the film in a totally original way. Now before you say "Watchmen already did it", no it didn't. What Watchmen did was to take the frames from the comic book and copy and paste the entire frame and call it being faithful when really it was just a cover up for a lack of creativity. What Scott Pilgrim does is take elements such as written sound effects (SWOOSH, THWAP) and display them on screen, for example when a character bangs his head against a lamp post not only do you hear an audible 'thud' but you also see the words THUD dance across the screen in big bold comic book fashion text making you feel like your in the same comic book world as the characters. I am glad that this doesn't happen in real life though, just imagine how off putting sex would become when you are mid coitus and surrounded by SQUELCH! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

On the negative side there are a few characters (well ok, most of them really) that lack any depth or believability. I found the character of Scott's chinese ex girlfriend to be pretty annoying, always popping up when not necessary like an erection at the dinner table. The film also has a rather important 'rock band' element which I find makes me cringe in any movie that tries to pull it off, at least this time the actors look like they know how to play the instruments their supposed to be playing thus avoiding what I have come to know as the "Bill and Ted" factor. 

I think its pretty clear at this point that I quite like Scott Pilgrim VS. The World. I'm not going to say its the best film I've ever seen, nor even the best of this year, but it was entertaining and engrossing enough for me not to notice how harsh the Oxford Odeon seating is on my sweet, Sweet arse. The acting was good enough, the direction fine and the writing a perfect mixture of good and cheesy. Its not may favorite movie ever by any means, nor is it really in my top three of the year but is well worth a poke.

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World gets...

                                                                                                                                   3 out of 5

Welcome

Hello friends, family and loved ones and welcome to 'Fucking Movies' a new film review page that will bring you a no bull-shit approach to movie reviews.

I know the idea of basing a blog on movie reviews is far from an original concept, sadly though I couldn't give ten tons of fuck so quit your bitching and just accept that although this may have been done before I am far more superior than the other bitchy little emo fucks who do this.

At this point I'm assuming that some of you are in no doubt of the opinion that I am a complete cunt. You would be correct, thats what I am and I'm damn proud and if you don't believe me please read my old yet completely wonderful retired blog at:-
http://thethingsi-h-a-t-e.blogspot.com/, its worth a read if your not boned up on my writing style. 

SO, after all of this, why have I decided to write about the movies? Well in all honesty its one of only two things which I actually feel positively passionate about, and although I would very much enjoy writing a Blog about Branston Pickle and Cheese sandwiches I feel the audience for such a wonderful concept may be somewhat limited.

Like many of you I have grown very VERY tired of the typical movie reviewer/critic out there. Its all a pretentious point here about actors and a pretentious point there about directors when to be honest all we wanna know is weather or not its our cup of tea. Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the most pretentious twattycakes ever when it comes to the medium of film and no doubt there will be times where this shows through but I will never ever cream over a movie just because Scorsese had a hand or left nut in it (lets face it, he's made like two and a half good movies).

Anyway thats enough about me and Scorsese, we're both of absolutely no interest to anyone so lets get down to the nitty gritty....