1.Avatar with $2,760,751,139
2.Specky Twat and the Half Blood Prince with $933,959,197
3.Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs with $886,686,280
4.Transformers: Revenge of Micheal Bay with $836,297,228
5.2012 with $769,679,128
6.Up with $731,342,724
7.The Twiglet Saga: The New Arse with $709,826,790
8.Sherlock Holmes with $523,028,679
9.Angels and Dribbles with $485,930,816
10.The Hangover with $467,483,912
That's a list so depressing that it would make Ockar Schindler put a shotgun in his own mouth. Of all of those films I saw eight in the cinema and I enjoyed three of them (for the curious amongst you I liked The Hangover, I loved Up, and kinda enjoyed Sherlock Holmes despite it being kinda shit). But as much as I detest Twiglets and Speky Twats I understand that there is a rather stupid gabble of dribbling crack babies that serve as an audience for them. Avatar on the other hand has absolutely no right to be considered a 'good film'.
Now before I get knee deep into the Na'vi shit pile, I do wish to say that Avatar looked good in 3D, but I was still more impressed with Step Up 3D's trailer and its integration of the format than I was by Avatars. As for the rest of the film its shockingly flimsy.
The plot is good and has huge potential, in fact I loved it first time round in 1990's Dances With Wolves which handled it very well and left a relevant mark in cinema history. What Cameron has done here is simply copy and paste that film and stuck it into a future setting which quite frankly makes no sense. Added into the stew pot is the Na'vi, a race spawned by cross breeding a Smurf with Panthro from Thundercats and given a name stolen from a fairy found in The Ledgend of Zelda. Now I can understand why Cameron would think he's being original here, basically since creating the Terminator franchise he started living a penthouse located deep within his colon where he has been sheltered from the outside world like some kind of Big Brother housemate. The characterization is terrible too, nobody in it with the exception of the always captivating Sigourney Weaver has any depth. This became obvious to me when watching the epic battles and realizing that I really couldn't give a fuck if anyone died. Credit to Cameron though, he did notice this, so in an effort to force the audience into feeling something for his main character he stuck him in a wheelchair and played the sympathy card, classy move!
Despite all of this the audience lapped it up and actually mistook its visuals for a good film which it is not. Take away the 3D and what you have is a collage of other peoples good ideas and nothing more, it wont stand the test of time. Look at Titanic, the world went ape shit over that and ask most people today the only thing they remember is Kate Winslet getting her golden globes out for the umpteenth time but this time getting away with it in a family movie.
To sum up then, Avatar is not my favorite film ever to say the least. It annoys me that people are so obsessed with this film, I even heard a guy say about how he wanted to live on Pandora. Now I don't know about you but this this guy is saying he wants to live on a moon where you insert parts of your body into animals in order to couple up with them...that says bestiality to me.
I dunno, everybody has seen this film already so I can hardly advise you not too, and those of you who have yet to see it will no matter what at some point. All I ask is that it be treated for what it is, a very expensive rip off and a display of James Cameron's evil genius. One day he will kill us all, mark my words.
Avatar gets...
1 out of 5
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