***WARNING***
THE FOLLOWING REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS AND CONTRADICTIONS THEREFORE IT MAYBE UNSUITABLE FOR SOME FUCKS. IT WILL ALSO ROCK YOUR WORLD LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE AND HAVE YOU RUNNING FOR COVER LIKE A TSUNAMI.
***YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED***
Going into this review you are all in no doubt expecting me to bend this film over hot coals and proceed to nail it in the darkest of dark voids with something big sharp and most likely infected with some nasty disease. I must warn you upfront though that I have no intention of doing so as I am a not so closeted fan of all out stupid brain-dead action movies. I for one do not understand the hundreds and thousands of critics out there who insist their films come with rich well written characters, detailed plots and unexpected twists. Sure I love all that stuff too but sometimes I just wanna' turn off my brain and let the big explosions and fast pacing take me away and entertain my on my most Neanderthal of mental planes. With this in mind lets get on with 'The Mechanic'.
As the attentive, regular persons that form my 30ish page views per post will recall, I have been thwarted from seeing this film twice by my local Odeon regime. The result in having to wait this long to see a film while suffering the worst cold ever is akin to a pubescent teen experiencing his first erection at the family dinner table, then having to wait for years before he gets his first handjob, the end result will inevitably disappoint due to the unavoidable build up not to mention leaving you with a massive amount of gunk to clean up. Ok so maybe that analogy was a little thin, but it allows me to segway seamlessly into the films plot which is equally thin.
Jason Statham is not what he makes himself out to be. He is (in this film) a Mechanic, however the definition this film gives for a Mechanic is "somebody who fixes things" and not "a burly chap who overcharges for car repairs". I do understand however that ' The Guy Who Kills People Who He Is Told Too' isn't exactly cinemas most gripping title and also provides the brains of the action genres biggest fans with too many words which would no doubt lead them into buying tickets for 'Paul' instead simply because its easier to say. So Statham is a mechanic who has nothing to do with mechanics, in the same way The Carphone Warehouse has nothing to do with Car-phones. Now we have got that straight the story is about Jason Statham who runs around killing people and occasionally takes his shirt off. Then he is forced to take the son of his dead mentor under his wing and teach him the tricks of the trade and as a result there are some explosions. Its a typical action story which fits the film well but will not supply enough substance for the more intellectually stimulated film snobs out there. There is the odd moment in the film where things get bogged down in exposition and the ensemble are required to put down their guns and let their mouths do the talking instead. These are by far the worst moments in the film, happily they are few and far between.
Jason Staham is now an action star. Almost annually we get new ammo to load into the Statham weapon of mass destruction and in each film our hero is exactly the same. He has a gruff English accent, he hasn't been shaving very well, he has lost his shirt and has very little on his mind other than putting the hurt on many, many people. It's never a taxing role for him but he is very good at it now and no matter what he is doing, its enjoyable to watch him do it. Jason aside the acting is atrocious and completely pointless which is again perfect for this kind of film. Its simply pretty women, ugly men and Jason Statham blowing shit up and shooting people as if life itself was going out of fashion. Its dumb, stupid and the perfect companion to a beer or six.
As I mentioned way back when this review started, the wait and unavoidable build up I had was going to take its toll on 'The Mechanic'. While I can see that this is not the best Statham adventure to date it does have its place somewhere in the middle of the score board. It by far surpasses 'C(rap)h(anous)a(nd)o(ver)s(isckening)' and 'Death Race in 60 seconds up the fast and furious mountain', it lacks the all out ballsyness of the Crank franchise and doesn't have the magic possessed by all three Transporter films. 'The Mechanic' has all the right ingredients but lacks the flavor. Its the Ready Salted action film. But if I'm honest, I think the film was damaged more by my waiting to see it rather than its own quality.
Thanks Odeon Oxford, now go jump into a Japanese Reactor.
The Mechanic who isn't a mechanic but is in fact a man who kills people who he is told to kill because its what he's bestest at in the whole wide world gets...
2 out of 5
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